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So he waited patiently as I took notes at the scene and called in what I knew. I think for every hole we patched, our family heals as well. Throughout most of my career, I have covered crime. After his death, our family of three felt incomplete, especially at dinner. Dorothy left a long letter she had been writing for months, placing it under the ivy for only him to see. “This place is special,” Dorothy remarked once on the ride home. He watched TV with the girls, but his playfulness disappeared. The next day, it was as though those conversations had never happened. His general practitioner had Jeff escorted to a crisis center after seeing how much weight and focus he had lost. They sent him home with the same list of unavailable professionals. Bella, only 4 at the time, poked and nudged, “Daddy, wake up.” “He can’t, Bella. I tried to pull Bella toward us, but I didn’t have the strength to lift her over Jeff. The kids swam and built sand castles with their dad, and the two of us savored whiskey sours. I struggled at work as my relationship with Jeff grew distant. We talked about our relationship, what was wrong, and how much we still loved one another. In an uncharacteristic response, Jeff turned in anger and yelled back, “I don’t know, but something’s wrong.” Things grew worse. No one in our insurance plan was taking new patients. I started doing what I do, writing about our lives, the happiness we once had. Before his body was taken, we stood at the sides of his hospice bed where he had slept for months.
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